Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Randomize
