I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment