Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
