yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
