So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
