Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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