you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize