Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
