You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I would ride that face into the sunset
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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