i just wanna soil my oats bro
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
