your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
