My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I made him laugh his dick is mine
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