the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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