i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
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