Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
