i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize