I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
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