it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
