i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
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He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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