That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
