My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
where are you?
Hypothermia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize