in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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