I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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