I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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