But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i just wanna soil my oats bro
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Randomize
