I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize