Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
