she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
