what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
