I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
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She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
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You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
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