No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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