At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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