I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
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