Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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