After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Randomize
