I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
