if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Randomize
