i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
