i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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