I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
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Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
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I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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