hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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