bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
