new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
