Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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