Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize