Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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