she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
