i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
