he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
