How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
You drinking a lot?
Define a lot
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine