brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.