there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
