so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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