It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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