so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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