I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
