You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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