mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
