smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
