neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
