If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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