White coat. Heels.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
