I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
