I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
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