I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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