You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
How external is "for external use only"?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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