If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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